Wednesday, October 22, 2008

N is for "Nosebleed"!

No, it is not your physical NOSEBLEED! I am talking more of the metaphorical one...

For a country that boasts that English is their second language, it is a surprise that only a few Filipinos can speak the language fluently and effectively. It is even more surprising to find one who can speak it straight without stammering and with very good choice of words! So I am bringing you the story of Inday, a young Filipino who is a promdi (a person from the rural areas). For Filipinos just like me, reading about her reasoning and explanations using the English language will definitely make you feel overwhlemed... and thus will want to make your nose bleed. Hence, the expression "Nosebleed!"

While the story is amusing and funny, I posted this with the intent that you will find the moral of the story as I have. That is, to Never underestimate peoples' capacities because you just might find yourself Nosebleeding!

Dahil sa tindi ng kahirapan sa probinsya, namasukan si Inday bilang katulong sa Maynila. Habang ini-interview ng amo...
Because of severe poverty in the province, Inday decided to go to Manila to become a househelp. While the master was interviewing her...

Amo: Kelangan namin ng katulong para mag ayos ng bahay, magluto, maglaba,magplantsa, mamalengke, at magbantay ng mga bata. Kaya mo ba ang lahat ng ito?
Master: We need someone who can fix the house, cook, do the laundry, press the clothes, go to the market, and babysit our child. Can you do all these?

Inday: I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of the work that you want. My creativity, productivity and work-efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress.

Amo: [nosebleed]
Master: [Nosebleed]

Nakaraan ang dalawang araw, umuwi ang amo, nakitang me bukol si junior.
Two days later, the master got home and saw that her son has a bump on the head.

Amo: Bakit me bukol si junior?
Master: Why does junior have a bump of his head?

Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.

Amo: [nosebleed ulit]
Master: [Nosebleed again]

Kinagabihan, habang naghahapunan.
That night, while having dinner.

Amo: Bakit maalat ang ulam?
Master: Why is the food so salty?

Inday: The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amount of sodium chloride (NaCl) affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize.

Amo: [nosebleed na naman]
Master: [Nosebleed again]

Donya: Bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng tv?!
Lady Master: Why is it that evey time I arrive, I always catch you watching TV?

Inday: Because I don't want you to see me doing absolutely nothing.

Donya: [hinimatay]
Lady Master: [Fainted]

Kinabukasan, sinamahan ni Inday si junior sa principal's office dahil di makapunta ang amo at donya.
The next day, Inday accompanied Junior to the Principal's office because her masters cannot come.

Principal: Sinuntok ni junior ang kanyang kaklase.
Principal: Junior punched his classmate.

Inday: It's absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational institution. Revise your policies because they suck!

Principal: [nag resign]
Principal: [Resigned]

Pag dating sa bahay, nandun na ang amo, galit na galit.
When Inday got home, her master was there, and was very furious.

Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!
Master: Inday, why is the garbage scattered out back?!

Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading for.

Amo: [nosebleed ulit]
Master: [Nosebleed again]

Habang nagluluto si Inday ng hapunan, malikot si junior.
While Inday was preparing dinner, junior was behaving very badly.

Inday: Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment to be inflicted upon you!

Junior: [takbo sa CR, pinunasan ang nagdudugong ilong]
Junior: Rushed to the bathroom, wiped his bleeding nose]

Pagkatapos magluto, nanood na ng TV si Inday. Nabalitaan nya umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.
After preparing dinner, Inday watched TV. She learned that Angel Locsin left her home station, GMA 7.

Junior: Bakit kaya sya umalis?
Junior: I wonder why she left?

Inday: Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they just know that things will get worse if they'll stay. Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when people can't understand you for doing so.

Junior: [tuloy ang pagdugo ng ilong]
Junior: [nose was bleeding continuously ]

Nung gabing yon, me nag text ke Inday. Si Dodong, ang driver ng kapitbahay, gusto maki pag text-mate.
That night, somebody sent a text message to Inday. It was Dodong, the neighbor's driver, asking if he could be her text-mate.

Inday: To forestall further hopes of acquaintance, my unfathomable statement to the denial of your request - Petition denied.

Di nagla-on, dahil sa tyaga ni Dodong, naging syota nya rin si Inday. Pero di tumagal ang kanilang relasyon, at nakipag-break si Inday ke Dodong.
Because of Dodong's persistence and perseverance, Inday became Dodong's girlfriend. But their relationship did not last long... Inday broke up with him.

Inday: The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocations. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!

Dodong: Perhaps you are mistaken, what you seem to contrive as any affections for you are somewhat half-hearted. I was merely attempting to expand my network of interests by involving you in my daily recreation. Heretofor, you can expect an end to any verbal articulation from myself.

Me dumaan na mamang basurero, at narinig ang usapan ni Inday at Dodong.
A garbage man was passing by and overheard their conversation.

Basurero (sabi ke Inday): Be careful in letting go of the things you thought are just nothing because maybe someday you'll realize that the one you gave away is the very thing you've been wishing for to stay.

Narinig ang lahat ng eto ng amo ni Inday.

Inday's Master heard all of this.

Amo: [nagpakamatay]
Master: [Committed suicide]

Now, my nose was bleeding after reading and translating all this!

Happy Wednesday everyone!

For more ABC Wednesday participants, check out Mrs. Nesbitt or ABC Wednesday with Mr. Linky.


rinkly rimes said...

That must have taken you hours and hours. I suppose the ‘tricky’ words would have been tricky in Filipino too!

earthlinggorgeous said...

Hay naku! Nosebleed talaga. Mejo mahirap magtranslate ng Tagalog to English na maka-capture ang essence ung nakakatawa talaga like when delivered in tagalog. Nosebleed post ang ginawa mo! Saludo ako sayo! Hahahaha!

BearNaked said...

Very very clever use of the letter N for ABC Wednesday.

Bear((( )))

Richie said...

Our associate pastor is from the Philippines, and has only been in the US for a little over a year. I enjoy listening to him preach, and often smile when he says something a bit different like “I have your name on the end of my tongue”. or “I was stopped for overspeeding”

kim from hiraeth said...

Nosebleed; that is a great metaphor!

Kapamilya101 said...

Please visit for the 2008 Kapamilya TV Awards. More 21 categories for kapamilya shows and stars vying for supremacy!

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